Here is the part about the JW's in the article,
#3. Jehovah's Witnesses Are Dark As Hell
Jehovah's Witnesses are the people who knock on your door on Saturday afternoon to ask if you've heard The Good News, like they're going to tell you you just won the lottery. They're mostly harmless. They seem like pleasant enough people, even if they don't celebrate birthdays.
But beneath that skinny tie and loose-fit khakis lies one of the grimmest denominations of Christianity you'll find. Jehovah's Witnesses absolutely are not fucking around.
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Cue Slayer's "Reign in Blood."
First of all, Jehovah's Witnesses believe that the world is in the process of ending right now. And it started ending just over a century ago. Witness scripture is kind of on a fast track. Apparently, Satan rebelled and got kicked out of heaven on Oct. 1, 1914, and it's all gone downhill since then. It's like the gritty reboot of Christianity.
They also don't believe in an afterlife. They believe that there are exactly 144,000 people in history that God will bring to heaven in their living bodies after Armageddon, and their hope is to be one of those people, which raises the question: Is there an undercurrent of bitter competition among Witnesses to be one of the few out of the many millions to secure a seat on God's bus to eternity? If you don't find yourself in that exclusive crowd, the best you can ask for is to be resurrected on Earth after the end times are over. If you don't fall into one of those two categories, you are just plain dead.
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Upside: no hell.
As mentioned, Jehovah's Witnesses are also opposed to holidays and birthdays, declaring them pagan. (Though they do encourage their followers to randomly give gifts to their kids to keep them from fleeing a religion free of gift-wrapped Ninja Turtle toys.) They're also opposed to military service, saluting the flag (which has caused some issues, as you can imagine), and singing national anthems. They're not big on depictions of the cross, either, because Witnesses believe that other churches' use of the cross is idolatry, and also that Jesus was killed on a single, upright post, instead of a traditional cross.
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Makes a crucifix look like a luxury.
Basically, it all sounds really depressing. Plus, they don't allow blood transfusions under any circumstances, even if it could save a life. And they have to knock on your door. Jehovah's Witnesses are required to be evangelical. Every month, they have to submit "field service reports" detailing their efforts to convert people. If they don't, they're deemed "irregular." If they go six months without submitting one, they're "inactive." And Jehovah help you if you ever leave, because then you're labeled "wicked." And if a Jehovah's Witness happens to disagree with any of the rules or scripture, they're immediately declared to be "mentally diseased." Did I mention they don't fuck around?
They have a super dark outlook on everyone else, too. They think the U.N. is evil and part of the Antichrist (which is weird because they very briefly joined them). They also believe all other religions are wrong and their followers will be destroyed when Jesus comes back. So, yeah, not extremely friendly to outsiders.
And things aren't just rough inside the faith, either. They've had plenty of stuff to deal with from the outside. Jehovah's Witnesses were also one of the targets of the Nazis during the Holocaust. Since they refused military service, Hitler rounded them up and put them in concentration camps along with the Jews, where they were marked with purple triangles.
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You can never again slam the door in their faces without feeling like a total asshole.
So next time you have them knocking on your door, just remember that they're actually Jesus' version of Kyle Reese, getting ready to unflinchingly fight a terrifying future war.